Happy Vaelentine's day to everyone!!! Today I think back to the day that I had my first love 15 years ago.... and so much happened between then and now..... so many tears and broken hearts....

I think today of the people that I gained and some people that I have lost due to all different reasons. I miss each and every person today that I loved and still love today.

Today on the 14th February 2008 I am single, have a valentine (one must always have a valentine) but I am happy. I have 2 stunning girls who adores me!! I don't ask for much more than that. I have lots of friends in my life that cares about me.

Life is good. Enjoy Valentine's day... May you all feel loved

Till we meet again......

I cant wait to see you again...

I TOLD YOU IT WORKS!!!!

We made peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well we talking again....And I feel better and I am smiling again, so I think that is what they call it making peace...

That is enough for me because the past few days were horrible. I hate fighting with him. I never ever want to fight with you again.
Sometimes in life something very special comes along and then you realize you have to change your behaviour.. I think I have met that person. I cant stand the thought of hurting him, previously I would have said "Accept me the way I am, I am not changing" - I am going to work on my mistakes, I should have done this years ago but have never met anyone who made me realize I should change my ways...

Have a great day........

The Secret by Rhonda Byrne

If you do not have a copy of The Secret I think you should go and get one. I have recently started to listern to the cd. I thought it was going to be easy to do what they tell you to do. But it is not, I realized now how negative I was thinking all the time and then I started to visualize how I met this amazing person then I met him. I was amazed, then the moment I tought of the negative issues that there was - he was gone. The negative problems that me and him were discussing all the time became true. Instead of focussing on the amazing thing that happened between us we thought of all the negative things. Wich destroyed what we had. It may sound silly to you but believe you me I was certain that he was put in my life for a reason (I still believe we will meet again, that is my own secret shhhhhhhhhttt)

I will have to work every day so hard to get all these negatives thought out of my system. I opened myself for positive and happy things. I know I could do it once - I can do it again......

I will keep you updated and give you some positive highlights out of the book.......

Some friends are forever......

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend: someone who changes your life by being a part of it.

Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop, someone who make you believe that there really is good in the world.

This is forever friendship.

When you're down and the world seems dark and empty,
your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full.

If you find such a friend,
you feel happy and complete.
You have a forever friend for life.

I recently met a forever friend.....
Even though we have some issues now, I believe in my heart our paths crossed for a reason and I hope he will forgive me...

Be my forever friend!!!

I am sorry if you cannot understand afrikaans, but today's post have to be in afrikaans. I feel lonely and miss everything that meant so much to me.

Vandag het ek heimwee, heimwee oor dinge wat lankal gebeur het. Dinge waaroor ek geen kontrole oor gehad het nie... Ek mis my land en my mense.

Moenie my verkeerd verstaan nie, die tweede kans wat hier vir my en die kinders gegun is is wonderlik en ek neem dit nie vanselfsprekend aan vir een oomblik nie.

Maar vanoggend is ek hartseer as ek nie afrikaans op my radio kan luister oppad werk toe nie (my SA cd's is almel gekrap van oor en oor luister)
Ek is hartseer oor ek nie vir die verpleegster kan se "Goeie More" nie.
Ek is harsteer vanoggend oor die patiente wat hier inkom nie 'n benul het van my pyn nie. Maar dan gebeur iets wonderliks. Ek hoor agter my "More Lizelle" dis die Suid Afrikaanse doktor wat hier werk..... Dit voel of ek hom wil oorval en druk, maar besef nie hy of sy vrou sal dit dalk waardeer nie (hahaha)

Dan raak ek hartseer as ek my kinders hoor praat soos 'n kiwi... Die afrikaans is nog baie goed, maar na die tweede ry van afrikaans slaan hulle maar oor engels toe... Dit maak my hart seer as ons by skool byeenkomste sing "God of Nations" en ek besef hulle sal nooit "Uit die blou van onse hemel" leer of sing nie erger nog hul sal nie dieselfde emosies ervaar as die springbokke uit volle bors "Khosi" sing nie....

Ek besef vandag het ek net heimwee na die goeie. Want dan sien ek hoe my 6 & 7 jarige op hulle fietse parkie toe ry (alleen) en hulle lag. As ons na die publieke parke toe gaan is daar letterlik 100de kinders en ouers. En ek vrees nie vir een oomblik my kinders se lewe tussen al die 100de mense nie, daar is nie gedreun van musiek tussen die kinders en ouers nie maar kinders se lag en skater is die musiek. Mense loop hand aan hand..... almal is ontspanne.... en ek dink terug aan toe ek 'n kind was toe ons nog na parke toe kon gaan. En ek besef weereens hoe geseend is ons om hier te kan wees.

Ek weet ek vang sommer 'n depro vandag, more voel ek weer beter....
Dit was net lekker om vandag weer in my eie taal te kon tik en te kon dink....

Liefde vanuit NZ
Lizelle

I am sorry!!! I will miss you forever.....

Why do I always do this?? Everytime something good comes in my life I have the ability to scare it out of my life.
I will not get over this mistake very easy in my life. This was truly one of the nicest things that ever happened to me. Is it that I dont know how to handle happiness? Why do I find it so hard to believe that something good can happen to me?
Or maybe it is a part of my heart that was healed that is scared of breaking again?

I was so happy! For such a short time.... I laughed in the morning when I woke up, I went to bed with a smile. I laughed for no reason during the day! For once I had hope, was positive. With one txt I destroyed it...

Can I do anything about it now? No! That is the hard truth.... Now I have lost all hope and I have to think to myself maybe you are meant to be unhappy for the rest of your life??

For the record I loved the way I felt this past 2 weeks, It was amazing to had dreams again...

Back to reality now again though!!!

Maybe in 2010!!!!